Pump Up Your Situation…
The second season of The Jersey Shore premiered last week Thursday and I couldn’t have been happier. This year the show is in Miami. There are so many great things about The Jersey Shore I don’t know what part I enjoy most. From the crazy parties, to the random hookups, to the ridiculous one-liners the show is the epitome of greatness. The Jersey Shore cast is the greatest thing to happen to Miami ever, even greater than the LBJ & Bosh signings.
Anyone who is an avid viewer of the show can’t help but notice that all of the guys are in ridiculous shape mostly due to their gym, tanning, and laundry workout regimen. One thing that the guys do before going out is “get their pump on”. Every guy who isn’t built like a pre-pubescent boy needs to be able to maximize their pump in order to make all the hot guidettes notice you. Because everyone knows that no matter what women say, they don’t give a damn about your personality. It’s all about the cash and the flesh cannons.
Getting your “pump on” is basically pumping your muscles full of lactic acid so that you appear to be bigger and more cut. The right pump will make your arms and chest bulge in your undersized Ed Hardy V-Neck. Girls can’t resist a guy in an undersized v-neck and with over-sized biceps tearing up the dancing floor doing fist pumps and two steps.
The pump routine is designed to pump the muscles up. This means more exercises at higher repetitions. Here is a quick workout you can do to maximize your pump before you go out:
- 75 Push ups
- 75 Chair dips
- 75 Crunches
- 50 Dumbbell Curls on each hand
- 50 Hammer Curls
This workout should take 15-20 minutes and puts the focus on some of the muscle groups that pop out when you wear your undersized shirt. Although this workout is brief it should give you the pump you need to last the night and put you in a situation where you’re not playing with landmines and grenades. You can modify the workout for your own physical purposes but a good indicator of when you have reached maximum pump is when you’re muscles are burned out and you can no longer complete the exercises.
Ladies don’t be afraid to do a little pump workout before you go out. There’s nothing worse than a girl with a sleeveless dress whose arms shake like an Parkinson’s patient or whose stomach protrudes out like some type of obscene tumor. This workout a little bit of hair grease and a nice tan and you’ll be creating your own “Situation” wherever you go. Speaking of which does anybody know where I can get a good tan?